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Alicia Blain

Career Advice


I want to first start out by thanking my colleague, Susan Whitcomb, a wonderful career coach and President of the Career Coach Academy for sending me this article in the Business Insider written by Vivian Giang titled:  ”If You Want to Retain The Best Young Workers, Give Them A Mentor Instead of Cash Bonuses“.  According to the article, in a recent annual Global CEO Survey  conducted by PricewaterhouseCoopers, 20-somethings, also known as Gen Y/Millennials rated training and development way above cash bonuses as their first choice in benefits.

The research that I did this past year validated the results from the survey.  As I interviewed 20-somethings that had been working from one to five years, over 80% had either left a job or were aggressively looking for one.  Why?  All of them were shocked by the reality they faced when they started working.  None of them were prepared for it and all of them wished they had known ahead of time so that perhaps they would have asked better questions during the interview to determine if there was a good fit. But even if they still had to take a job regardless of fit, they all felt that knowing would have helped with a better transition.

What was shock #1 for these Gen Yers?  Having to report to bad bosses and/or not having mentors they could go to.  In my new e-book, New @ Work:  An Insider’s Survival Guide to a Crazy Workplace,  I give new hires some probing questions to ask during an interview so they can determine if their prospective employer embraces mentoring and whether or not their next boss has “horrible boss” characteristics.

In my experience having worked as a corporate executive for over 25 years,  I find that new hires don’t take enough advantage of the interview process.  The interview provides a great opportunity to get to know important things about the organization and the person who will be your boss.  Too often, young interviewees are so concerned about making a good impression that they either don’t ask a lot of questions or ask very predictable ones. 

Interviewers have typically been through hundreds of interviews and usually have heard the same questions being asked over and over again.  A way to stand out is to ask them questions that make them think, that get them out of their comfort zone.  As long as you ask it in a non-threatening manner and from a place of curiosity, the interviewer will most likely remember you from the countless other interviews he or she has had.  In today’s world, young interviewees need to find creative ways to get on the employers radar preferably before the interview but certainly during the interview.

As I was reading the Insider Edition article, I was noticing some of the comments that were  posted.  Many of them appeared to be from Gen Yers who disagreed with the survey results and rated cash bonuses over mentoring.  Although this is understandable in today’s unstable economic times, I believe it ultimately backfires.  It’s a case of being penny wise and pound foolish.

Having had mentors and being a mentor during my long career, I can attest to the huge benefits mentors provide.  They are able to fastrack your career.  They show you where the landmines are located, what to do and not do and how best to stand out and get noticed.  Mentors provide a shortcut to becoming successful at work.  Although that may not be as appealing as a cash bonus in the short term, I can vouch that it has much better financial benefits in the long term. 

Mentoring has allowed me to make strategic moves in my career that have ultimately gotten me  higher increases,  better bonuses and more importantly, positioned me to become a high performer which is the cream of the talent crop in an organization. Cash bonuses could not have done that and eventually, those bonuses would probably shrink without a “Success GPS”  that only a mentor can provide.

In my e-book I give some advice on how to find mentors in or outside an organization if someone finds him or herself working for a bad boss or an organization that doesn’t foster mentoring.  Mentoring is that important to your career whether you are 20-something or 50-something.

When you have a good mentor, the cash will come.  Without one, it’s a rocky road.

As I’ve mentioned in many of my recent posts, this past year I had the pleasure of interviewing young professionals who had been working from 1 to 5 years out of college.  Over 80% of them had been unhappy in their first job and had either left it or were looking to leave. But all 100% of them agreed on one thing:  they were not prepared for what to expect once they had the  job.

This is not unusual but it’s a fact that doesn’t get talked about much.  The reality is that college doesn’t prepare you for the world of work.  Going from college to corporate is one of the hardest transitions we all make.  Don’t think it’s a new reality either.  When I graduated from college many, many, many years ago, I almost quit after my first two weeks.  Actually, I wanted to quit after the first week but decided to wait until a got my first paycheck.  I figured it was the least the company could do for having me go through the shock of working in a corporate environment.

As it turns out, I never quit.  The economic situation at the time very much resembled the one today’s college grads are facing.  I had many friends who had not found work and when I told them I was quitting, they told me I was crazy & that I needed to stick it out even if I was miserable.  I listened and I did stick it out. Of course back then, the career or job options available to a 20-something were much more limited than they are today.   There weren’t any internships or contracting work that a young person could take to make a living.  But the truth is it took me a LONG time to get used to the work environment because it wasn’t easy to figure out.

Today’s newest and youngest entrants to the workplace told me the same thing.  In fact, they told me the 5 key areas that shocked them the most about working.  So I made a decision.  I decided to write a series of ebooks to give college grads the upper hand in transitioning from college to corporate.   The first ebook  which comes out this month is called New @ Work: An Insider’s Survival Guide to the Crazy Workplace.  It gives college grads 5  insider secrets about the world of work.  It busts the myths many of us had about the workplace before we worked there.  It’s the 5 that were highlighted by the young people I interviewed this past year.

Let me give you 2 examples of what I mean.

1.  As a college grad, you probably expect that your boss will not only be a good boss to you but that he will be a good leader for the team you work for.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  The likelihood is that he or she won’t be.  The inside scoop that seasoned workers learned the hard way is that there is an overwhelmingly large number of bad bosses in the workplace.  I call them batty bosses and I’ve described some of their characteristics in some of my previous blogs.  In the ebook, I go into each of them and explain why they exist.  I also provide some probing questions you can ask during your job interviews to uncover if you will be working for one.  If you get lucky enough to land a good boss, count your blessings and don’t do anything to jeopardize that relationship.

2.  As a college grad, you probably expect that your workplace will encourage and foster collaboration among employees both in and outside your team.  Maybe. Maybe not.  The insider truth is that collaboration doesn’t always flourish in many of the more established companies and it certainly doesn’t do so at the level that young people today are used to collaborating.  There are a lot of reasons for that which I explain in the book and I give some pointed questions you can ask during your job interview to get a glimpse of how collaborative or not your future employer is.

The point is that as a college grad you should not go blindly into your first job.  The hundreds of thousands of us that have done so either quit our jobs or took a long time to figure it out.  You don’t need to do that. It’s important that you know exactly what to expect.  Instead of being miserable or wasting time trying to make sense of it all, you can be ready for it and concentrate on making a great impression and showcasing your talents and desire to make a difference.

One thing you can do now to get ready:  talk to your friends who have been working for a year or more.  Ask them what surprised them most about work.  Ask them for 1 to 3 tips to prepare you so you can know what to expect.

In the meantime, look out for my ebook announcement and the special offer for the class of 2011.

Most college grads think the way to stand out during a job interview is to be as prepared as possible for the questions employers will ask them during their interviews.  That is partially true.  Job interviews are the first impression you are making to the employer.  Being able to anticipate their questions and answer them well is a strong start to making a good impression.

But do you know there’s another effective way to stand out during your interview?  Here’s an insider secret: The interview process gives you a rare and often unutilized opportunity to put the employer under the microscope by asking them some probing questions.

The questions provide 2 immediate benefits.

1. It Showcases YOU:  Here’s another insider secret: Employers don’t usually expect to get probing questions from young employees. That’s expected from the more experienced candidates who have been working for years and know the “real deal”. The questions will distinguish you from other interviewees in 3 key ways:

         a.  Savviness. You instantly show you are savvy about what goes on inside the corporate walls. It demonstrates you went       above and beyond the normal research and due diligence.

         b. Surprise. Employers already know the typical questions young and inexperienced candidates ask. Time after time, they respond with the same routine, memorized answer. Pointed questions surprise them and make them take notice. It breaks them out of the expected and it’s a way for you to stand out among a sea of other applicants.

         c.  Spunkiness. Employers were once in your shoes and know how uncomfortable it is for a young person to ask tough questions. Most will admire your courage because so few do. It shows spunk and that shows the employer that you are bright and on the ball. It makes them feel confident you’ll get up to speed quickly when hired.

2. Forewarned is Forearmed. Many young employees make the common mistake of focusing all their attention on making a good impression during the interview process. This is an extremely important thing to do, but it isn’t the only thing you should be doing. You need to understand the work environment you will be walking into when you accept the job. Unlike the majority of young employees who start work and are clueless about what they’re getting into, you will know. You won’t waste time being surprised. Instead you can focus  on what you have to do to get on the fast track to advance your career.

Take those tips from my previous blogs and start coming up with a list of questions to ask your employer during the interview.  You might find those questions to be the key ingredient to standing out and going to the front of the line during the selection process.

I know that in today’s challenging economy, college grads are concerned about finding a job.  You are spending a lot of time preparing for your interviews & making sure you are ready to answer the tough questions employers will throw at you so that you can stand out.

Well, guess what?  That’s only half the battle. What steps are you taking during the interview process to determine if your prospective employer is a good fit for you?  Here’s a reality that most college grads are unaware of when they are seeking their first job: over 80% of college grads wind up hating their first job.  That’s a LOT of people that are unhappy.

How do I know that?  I spent the last year, interviewing college grads that were working between 1 and 5 years. Most of them – 80% – said they had either left their first job or were unhappy there and were aggressively looking for another job. When I asked them why they were unhappy they all said the same thing:  we didn’t do our homework on the company hiring us.  Like most of you, these young professionals currently in the workforce did not take the time to really ask the employer some penetrating questions to determine what it would be like to work there.

All of the young people I interviewed said they were just laser focused on getting into a company & starting their career.  They did not focus a lot of attention on asking their employers some penetrating questions.  Whatever questions they asked was to show the employer how much they knew about the company. After they started, they realized what most experienced employees already know.  Finding “a job” is often not the right approach to take even though you may be extremely tempted to do that. 

Most of the young people I interviewed said that taking “a job” had not been a good decision for them.  Many wished they had taken the time to question their prospective employer (and boss)  instead of just trying to be as prepared as possible for the employer’s questions.  Most interviewees felt sure that if they had taken the time to ask better questions they would have either chosen not to take the job or, if they needed to, they would have known ahead of time what they were getting themselves into. 

That’s good advice.  The difference between an inexperienced interviewee and an experienced one is that the experienced one knows that getting “a job” is not the answer.  It’s finding one that’s a good fit for you.  That’s why people that have been working for some time make a list of probing questions to ask during an interview.  They know the importance of putting their prospective boss and employer under the microscope.   

A job search is an exhausting process and not something you necessarily look forward to.  Experienced job seekers don’t want to be in a situation where they look for “a job” and are unhappy and have to look for another one soon after. Being prepared for the interview by asking a series of good questions to determine if there’s a fit is what experienced job seekers do to prevent that situation from happening.

Take your cues from the pros.  Being prepared to answer an employer’s probing question is an important part of getting a job.  Asking the employer your own probing questions is an important part of finding the right fit and wanting to stay on the job.

Here are 3 tips to finding the right fit.  

Tip #1: Take some of the questions I’ve highlighted in my previous blogs as a starting point to preparing your list. 

Tip #2:  Ask your friends & family members who have been working for a few years, what questions they wished they had asked when they interviewed for their first jobs.  Everyone will be more than happy to give you their set of questions. 

Tip #3: Take the questions that have been repeated by most people and add those to your list.  That’s going to give you a huge advantage over other job seekers.  While they are busy finding “a job”, you’re busy finding the “right job” for you .

When we graduate college and start looking for our first job, we rarely think about our relationship with our boss.  After my interviews with young people this past year, many of them indicated that they actually always assumed they’d have bosses who’d mentor them and guide them through their career.

Nothing can be furthest from the truth.  Here’s an insider secret:  As a college grad in your first job, you have a higher chance of working for someone who isn’t a very good mentor nor is interested in becoming one.  Many of today’s managers are overworked, stressed and dealing with their own career issues. They don’t have any time left over to dedicate to their staff. Some managers are simply not mentoring types at all and try to avoid that part of their role.

The good news is that your boss doesn’t have to be the one you turn to for mentoring.  Once you start working you will quickly find out who are the managers in the organization that not only like mentoring but that find the time to do so.  Those are the ones you want to align yourself with and pick one of them as your mentor.

Believe it or not, the interview process provides you with a unique opportunity to ask questions of your prospective boss to see if he or she would be a good mentor and a good fit for your personality.  As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs,  there are a lot of batty bosses out there. All of us have different tolerance levels for the different types that exist.  Wouldn’t it be better to know ahead of time whether you may be working for one or not? Most college grads don’t grab this opportunity because they are focused on making a good impression on the employer.  Although that is very important, it is equally important to ask probing questions as well.

Here are 5 good questions you can ask your prospective boss to determine what type of boss he is. 

1. Give me an example of a famous leader you admire and what are the traits you admire about him or her?

2. Give me an example of someone you’ve mentored in your team and what you liked and didn’t like about it?

3.  How would your employees describe you?

4. What are your top 3 pet peeves?

5.  What are 3 things you enjoy about leading your team and 3 things you don’t enjoy?

From the responses, you’ll get an indication whether your future boss is a good and caring boss. If (s)he is, you hit the jackpot! Count your blessings . Do everything you can to get the job and stay with him for as long as you can. If they don’t, well, welcome to reality. You have to ask yourself these questions:

  • What batty boss type is he? Is it one of the types I can tolerate?
  • If it’s not a tolerable type for me, is the job opportunity worth the aggravation of learning to deal with that type of boss?
  • If so, what steps can I take now to prepare myself to handle this type of boss so I don’t derail my career?

The best way to excel in your first job is to be as prepared as possible so that you are not shocked at the world of work and lose precious time trying to figure it out.  While others are doing that, you will be focusing your effort on creating value and showcasing your skills as a high performer.

You don’t know what you don’t know.  Everybody knows that but what you don’t know can make you miserable later.  That’s what young people working for the past 1 to 5 years told me this last year when I interviewed them.  Over 80% said they just did not do a good job asking prospective employers probing questions to find out what it would be like to work there.

Most of these young people started their jobs right out of college and said they mainly focused on preparing for the questions that employers would ask them.  They admitted that they had  a list of generic questions to ask employers but mainly did so to show the employer that they had done their research about the company. Again to showcase themselves to the employer.

Most young people don’t give a lot of thought to what they are getting themselves into when they accept a job.  After all, the company websites and the on campus meet & greets paint an awesome picture of  what it’s like to be on the inside – an employee – of Company XYZ.  Like everything else in life, there are always two sides to every story.

There is no doubt that working for a company gives you tremendous exposure and great experience as a new entrant into the workforce. There are many benefits to working for a company in your early career. However, there are many things about working that college grads are unaware of and that consequently make them very disillusioned and disheartened once the job offer is accepted.  So much so that 80% of the young people I interviewed had left their jobs, were actively looking to leave or thinking of leaving in the short term. They simply weren’t prepared for the shock of being an employee.

In case you think this is a new phenomenon, it isn’t.  I think you can ask anyone who has been working as an employee and if they can remember back to their early twenties they will tell you how shocked they were when they started working.   I share my own story and tell young people that when I started working in my first job, I came VERY close to quitting after the second week (had to get that paycheck, right?). College simply does not prepare you for the workplace.

The twenty-somethings I interviewed told me that in hindsight they wished they had asked their employers better questions to be better prepared for working there.   Many agreed that given the tight job market they would probably have taken the job regardless of what they discovered.  The big difference that would have made a huge difference as an employee is they wouldn’t have wasted so much time wrapping their heads around the job shock.  Instead they would have been ready and focused on adding value immediately to enhance their employee brand and to stand out.

Here are 2 insider secrets most young people don’t give a lot of thought to but impacts them nonetheless.

1.       You will NEVER work for a perfect company.

2.        All companies have warts and some have more than others. Warts are things that aren’t great about the company but need to be tolerated in order to work there.

During the job interview, you want to gauge what specific brand of warts your prospective employer has because the closer the warts are to things you can tolerate the better your experience will be.

Here are 3 specific questions you can ask to help you get a better idea of their warts. More importantly, it will help you understand the environment you will be working in should you accept the position.

1.    Can you tell me 2 reasons why you work for this company?   What keeps you here?

2.   What are 2 things you wish you could change about the company and why?

3.   What are 3 things people don’t know about working for the company that they should?

Listen very carefully to the responses and jot them down. Your interviewers will not be expecting these types of questions and will most likely not have a pat answer that is not very revealing.  The responses will be more truthful and telling.

Stay tuned next time when I will share more interview questions that Gen Yers on the Job suggest you ask before you accept your first job.

Over this past year I have interviewed many Gen Yers that have been working from one to five years.  Do you know one of the biggest regrets they had?  That they didn’t take the opportunity during an interview to ask employers questions about working there.

Today, you can find countless articles and blogs where Gen Yers talk about their disappointment and disillusionment when they enter the workplace.  All college grads are encouraged to prepare intensely for their interviews with employers.  But what isn’t discussed much is what college grads should be doing to prepare themselves for the SHOCK of working as an employee.

College never prepares you for what corporate life will be.  The marketing messages to college grads on corporate websites paint a rosy picture about working there.  That’s what marketing messages are supposed to do.  But the insider reality of working as a full-time employee is not often as rosy as the marketing hype suggests. There are a lot of things that are not great about the workplace.  Anyone who has worked for any amount of time will tell you that.  But it sure helps a lot when you know upfront what you are getting yourelf into.  That always lessens the SHOCK of the job.

Here’s an inside secret that is not comonly talked about.  All companies have warts (and some have more than others). Warts are things that you, as an employee, have to tolerate. We all tolerate different things; you need to determine if the company has the particular variety of warts you can tolerate.  The way to do that is to come up with a list of questions that you ask prospective employers to get a sense of their particular warts and determine if they are tolerable for you.

In this tight job market, college grads may not have the luxury of picking an employer whose warts are tolerable.  That’s okay.  The Gen Yers I interviewed believed that if they at least had known what to expect, it would have gone a long way to lowering the SHOCK factor in transitioning from their college to workplace experience.  Although it’s important to get a job, what good is it if you are miserable from the start?

 These Wise Gen Ys told me that as interviewees, college grads have a unique opportunity to probe employers and try to understand what it would be like to work there.  Instead, that opportunity is often lost because the focus is to be prepared to answer challenging and probing questions rather than ask them.

If the questions you ask uncover that a particular company’s warts are not in your “tolerance range” but you still need to take the job if it’s offered to you, at least you are going in with a huge advantage in that you know what to expect.  Gen Yers on the job state that not knowing caused them to spend months trying to get over the SHOCK and trying to figure things out.  Knowing ahead of time and not going in blind would have helped them tremendously.

In the next blog I’ll share some of the questions these Wise Gen Ys on the Job wished they had asked during their job interviews…

Drumroll, please…  The last & what I consider the worst of the 5 batty bosses at work is Mr. Snarly.

This is the angry, moody, obnoxious boss who spends his day screaming at everyone, regardless of whether it’s his team members, his assistant, his kids or the barista at Starbucks. He loves belittling people in meetings and has absolutely no manners or delicacy. He thrives on intimidation. Reporting to him keeps you constantly wondering when his tirade will fall on you.

Certainly not a fun person to work for.  It will amaze you how many Mr. Snarly’s still exist in the workplace today.  You would think with all the leadership advice out there & the money companies spend on mentoring their leaders & managers that a Mr. Snarly could never be allowed to exist & wreak havoc at work.  But they do.  And chances are, you will run into one if you are not already reporting to one.

That’s why it’s so important to ask probing questions during an interview especially for those first entering the workplace. Working for a Mr. Snarly right out of school is almost harmful to someone new to the grim realities of work. A young employee is not savvy enough or experienced enough to deal with Snarly’s tirades & unprofessional behavior. There are many seasoned professionals that can’t deal with that type either. But the point is to try & flush that out before you take the job.

If you don’t want to get caught working for Mr. Snarly, you need to ask probing questions when interviewing with your prosepective boss.  The person the position reports to has the ultimate decision in who gets hired. Here’s a insider tip. Most prospective bosses have interviewed hundreds of candidates over the years. They know that young people are  more focused on impressing them. They know that young candidates don’t know the corporate realities of being an insider.  After years of interviewing young people, they already know by heart the types of questions you will ask them – questions that are meant to impress them with your knowledge. 

What they don’t expect is for you to be a savvy interviewee & ask them questions like experienced candidates do. On the rare occasion a young person asks probing questions, the prospective boss immediately takes notice. I know I did when I interviewed.  Here is a person that is making the boss think about the answer instead of asking a question everyone else asks. This person will automatically stand out from the throngs of other interviewees they will see.  And that’s what you want.  You want to stand out & ultimately get the job.

So here are some questions you can ask your potential boss to make him think & take notice of you.

  • Can you describe your leadership style?
  • Give me an example of a famous leader you admire.
  • What are your top 3 pet peeves?
  • Do you enjoy mentoring your staff?
  • Give me an example of someone you’ve mentored in your team and what you liked and didn’t like about it.
  • How would your employees describe you?
  • What are 3 things you enjoy about leading your team and 3 things you don’t enjoy?

You need to listen carefully to the responses given since that will give you clues as to the type of person you will be reporting to.  Now that you know the list of batty bosses you can be better prepared.  You may hit the jackpot & find that you will work for a great boss.  If so, it is even more critical for you to do everything you can to stand out & get the job.  Great bosses are rare to find & when you find one, you want to work for them as long as you can.

If you currently work for a Mr. Snarly & can’t stomach his outbursts, now you have the questions you need to ask in your new job search.  Don’t get caught by surprise again.  For those college graduates interviewing for their first jobs, stay out of Mr. Snarly’s clutches.  Ask probing questions & know what you’re getting into.  The more you know, the less job shock you will experience when you start working. That means the quicker you can focus on making an impact on the inside & moving your career forward.  Instead of a deer in the headlights, you will walk into the spotlight with confidence & knowledge.

Have you worked for Mr. or Ms. Stupe?  Stupe is another Gen Y addition & it’s pronounced Stupee.  Short for Stupid. 

Yes, believe it or not,  you may work for a boss that’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.

When I started my career, there was a saying, “Screw up to move up.”  Do any fellow Boomers remember that saying? We’d use it every time an incompetent person got promoted. Back then, like today, it is often easiest for a company to get the stupid person out of the day-to-day and out of the way by promoting him. Not a smart move, but it happens. Mr. Stupee is ineffective running the team. Somebody else, usually a direct report(s), is the brains of the operation and allows Mr. Stupee to get away with his incompetence.

Discovering that you work for Mr. Stupe was shocking back in the day & it’s even more shocking today.  This is the type of thing most young people don’t realize when they are interviewing for a job.   Because they don’t know what awaits them as insiders, they don’t know what to ask  to try & find out.  It’s so important to ask the questions.  Not only is it eye opening & valuable to know what you’re getting into but did you know it gives interviewees a leg up in the interview process?

More  about that in our next & last post in the series.  Batty boss #5: Mr. Snarly – the worst of the bunch.

Mr. Sleepless in the office.  That’s batty boss # 3.

This is the workaholic boss. You will get an email from him at 2:00 a.m. and he calls you from the office at 7:30 a.m., wondering why you aren’t in the office. His standards are pretty high and he’s not very forgiving with anything less than your best. If he’s putting in all those long hours, you should be too. If you aren’t, you will quickly get on his radar. These types are usually over-stressed, burnt out and impatient. They are tough to work for and are not very understanding of the personal demands or issues their employees may be facing.

So here’s a confession.  In my early years as a manager,  I was a Ms. Sleepless.  I’m one of those people that loves to work & can work non-stop if I’m not careful.  Early on in my career I expected my team to be working alongside me.  I had the attitude that “if I did it, you could do it, too”. With time, I realized I was burning out my team and myself.  Just because I liked to work non-stop did not mean I should & it certainly didn’t mean my team should either.  In fact, it wasn’t productive to do that.  It was a painful lesson to learn because I lost a lot of great people who got tired of working for such a work horse. 

In fact, the lesson was delivered by Nick, someone who worked for me a long time ago.  A brave soul who decided to speak up & share what everyone in the team was feeling.  Why did he do it?  Because he took the time to observe me and to see what made me tick.  For weeks before he approached me, he watched how I reacted to information and the best way to deliver that information in a way that was well received by me. He noticed that even though I was a workaholic, I was open to feedback from the team.  I was tough but I listened.

Nick could see that I had the potential to be a good boss if I just lost the Ms. Sleepless tendencies. So he spoke up.  He delivered the difficult message in an objective, non-judgmental way that I could relate to & digest.  And I did. Nick’s plan worked.

When I asked him how he knew his risky move wouldn’t backfire on him, his response was priceless.  He said he wasn’t sure it would work or not but he knew that by not saying anything, things would not change.  I’ve never forgotten what he said to me.

He said, “You are the gatekeeper of my career.  Good or bad, that is the reality. If I want to advance I have to make the relationship work.  To do that I had to figure you out.  Once I did, everything else fell into place”.  It’s a win-win for both of us.

And it was a win-win.  Because your boss – batty or not – is the gatekeeper of your career, it behooves you to figure him out instead of expecting it to be the other way around.  When you take the initiative to do so, the options of how to handle his battiness will surface.  You’re in control, not the other way around.

Next up, Batty # 4: Mr. Stupe (pronounced Stupee).

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